Saturday, December 31, 2005
2005.the most challenging year fer me.the hard tyme.the sad..happy memories i went thru.only god knows.
it started all with the o'levels result.the most heartbreaking and all.soon after i got my result im seriously not myself.i cried and din even went out from my room.i rot myself and i even kal myself a loser.every hope just dissapear in the thin air.i broke my parents heart.tat partly brought a greatest impact on me.a great one tat i will never forget till today.everythin is still fresh in my mind.finally made up my mind to retake my 0s.yes.i have to go thru the same ol thin again.but whu cares.i just wanna have a full cert.
took full tyme olevels class at bmc.met new frens..at ferst i was totally lost.im used to mix wif chinese coz from sec 1 to sec 5 my whole classmates was chinese.and now i haf to mix wif indians..malay and lil of chinese.but no matter wad i have got to try mixing ard wif them coz i will be wif them fer the next few mths till october.get to know efli,zak,priya,sugu,wilson,ken,nigel,fizah,jes,farinah,shahidah,joanne,katy,ain..hmm..and whole bunch..they are simpli nice people.esp,sugu.shez my sweety.
they even made a surprise mini party fer my at mac.they bought a cake fer me..awww..so sweet of them. and sumone bought fer me nicey and yummy cupcakes fer me.i will definitely miss them.
those crazy moment when thins happen i will never forget too.the tymes wen we gerls hates the indian guys so much..haha.. those tyme wen they sang 50 cent song till i get bored of tat in the club song."go shorty..its ur bethday.we gonna party like its ur bethday" haha..lolx.they kal me shorty!!!! coz im the shortest among them.lolx.we jokes ard..we shared heartbreaking moment together and all.how i miss those gerls.
however, i miss my 502 peeps to bits too.
moved to wlds in april.gosh.i miss my flat.my neighbours and all..my 5 room flat..hurhur..the day i move out..i cried silently.my previous hse was where i grew up.tat was where the memories with my granparents and all until they passed away.and of cos im far apart of tina.ferstly we are not in the same school animore.and secondly we stay far apart now.but still we met quite often.esp wen i have class at redhill.we would go town together and slack.had our crazy girls talk and all.hurhur
in the middle of the year..get to know few guys..and that fews guys were now gone from my life bcos they hate me fer not acceptin them as my guy.tats wen guys said tat im tinking about my ownself wifout even giving them a chance to love me.they tink they knew everythin about me within a month.but no.they know nuthing.all they want was just a relationship wia a gerl.and tat was the tyme people said tat im so choosy...and i heard whole lots of things.it wasnt about being choosy or sumtink.but its just tat im not ready in relationship.im not a gerl who takes a risk in relationship.i dun wanna haf a relationship which last me fer a short period of tyme.if those guys cant accept me fer tat, i dunch mind letting them go.no matter how cute.nice and wat so ever.
tina went fer a overseas trip b4 fasting mth started.not able to sent her because i cant see clearly.my spec broke.urhh..i depend on my spec so much..sighz.and when shez away.there were so many thins happen.only she and me knew it..met her the next day after she came back at expo.and the day i met her i was actualy sicked.but still wanna meet her bcoz i felt so bad cos wen she left fer her overseas trip i was not able to sent her off. and guess wad! i almost collapsed at marsiling mrt station.i cant move.my tears kept on rolling...yes.in public summore.i knoe.sighz.and i was liek stone fer almost 20 min.soon after that i kal tina.i dunch kneo y i kal her.eventhou i kneo shez not stayink near my place anymore.but no one ans.after that called my dada.told him to fetch me.i cant even move..my head hurts alot.dad arrived wif his pathetic "baju tido" and tat comfirm me tat he just took car keys and just come down. soon after that nite.everythin seems not right.i was in pain.totally in pain.only god knows.how i have been going thru.skip schools fer alomost 2 wks.i was hospitalised and all.and of cos therez fer sure heartbreaking news.tat makes me just not myself till today.
it started all with the o'levels result.the most heartbreaking and all.soon after i got my result im seriously not myself.i cried and din even went out from my room.i rot myself and i even kal myself a loser.every hope just dissapear in the thin air.i broke my parents heart.tat partly brought a greatest impact on me.a great one tat i will never forget till today.everythin is still fresh in my mind.finally made up my mind to retake my 0s.yes.i have to go thru the same ol thin again.but whu cares.i just wanna have a full cert.
took full tyme olevels class at bmc.met new frens..at ferst i was totally lost.im used to mix wif chinese coz from sec 1 to sec 5 my whole classmates was chinese.and now i haf to mix wif indians..malay and lil of chinese.but no matter wad i have got to try mixing ard wif them coz i will be wif them fer the next few mths till october.get to know efli,zak,priya,sugu,wilson,ken,nigel,fizah,jes,farinah,shahidah,joanne,katy,ain..hmm..and whole bunch..they are simpli nice people.esp,sugu.shez my sweety.
they even made a surprise mini party fer my at mac.they bought a cake fer me..awww..so sweet of them. and sumone bought fer me nicey and yummy cupcakes fer me.i will definitely miss them.
those crazy moment when thins happen i will never forget too.the tymes wen we gerls hates the indian guys so much..haha.. those tyme wen they sang 50 cent song till i get bored of tat in the club song."go shorty..its ur bethday.we gonna party like its ur bethday" haha..lolx.they kal me shorty!!!! coz im the shortest among them.lolx.we jokes ard..we shared heartbreaking moment together and all.how i miss those gerls.
however, i miss my 502 peeps to bits too.
moved to wlds in april.gosh.i miss my flat.my neighbours and all..my 5 room flat..hurhur..the day i move out..i cried silently.my previous hse was where i grew up.tat was where the memories with my granparents and all until they passed away.and of cos im far apart of tina.ferstly we are not in the same school animore.and secondly we stay far apart now.but still we met quite often.esp wen i have class at redhill.we would go town together and slack.had our crazy girls talk and all.hurhur
in the middle of the year..get to know few guys..and that fews guys were now gone from my life bcos they hate me fer not acceptin them as my guy.tats wen guys said tat im tinking about my ownself wifout even giving them a chance to love me.they tink they knew everythin about me within a month.but no.they know nuthing.all they want was just a relationship wia a gerl.and tat was the tyme people said tat im so choosy...and i heard whole lots of things.it wasnt about being choosy or sumtink.but its just tat im not ready in relationship.im not a gerl who takes a risk in relationship.i dun wanna haf a relationship which last me fer a short period of tyme.if those guys cant accept me fer tat, i dunch mind letting them go.no matter how cute.nice and wat so ever.
tina went fer a overseas trip b4 fasting mth started.not able to sent her because i cant see clearly.my spec broke.urhh..i depend on my spec so much..sighz.and when shez away.there were so many thins happen.only she and me knew it..met her the next day after she came back at expo.and the day i met her i was actualy sicked.but still wanna meet her bcoz i felt so bad cos wen she left fer her overseas trip i was not able to sent her off. and guess wad! i almost collapsed at marsiling mrt station.i cant move.my tears kept on rolling...yes.in public summore.i knoe.sighz.and i was liek stone fer almost 20 min.soon after that i kal tina.i dunch kneo y i kal her.eventhou i kneo shez not stayink near my place anymore.but no one ans.after that called my dada.told him to fetch me.i cant even move..my head hurts alot.dad arrived wif his pathetic "baju tido" and tat comfirm me tat he just took car keys and just come down. soon after that nite.everythin seems not right.i was in pain.totally in pain.only god knows.how i have been going thru.skip schools fer alomost 2 wks.i was hospitalised and all.and of cos therez fer sure heartbreaking news.tat makes me just not myself till today.
i made my parents worried about me.i have become so quiet and no one can even heard my laughter.i cried silenly in my heart wifout any tears.my mind was all mess up.and tats was the tyme me and tina ended up in disagreement wifout ani reasons..maybe there is.but only knows.the tymes wen i really nid sumone to cry on.sumone to share my pain.but god take away my bestie.leaving me handling my own self prob.i din tell anione of about my misery.i kept all tat in my heart.coz i just dunch know who to share and who would even care to listen.
but still yayan..my cousin knew it from her mum.and i knoe.my mum could have been telling her mum.so soon after that day.she was the one assuring me tat everythin will be over soon.sumtymes wen she makes a jokes i laugh.but it was just a fake laugh.sorry yan.second was sugu.she gave me encouragment and never ending support even wifout knowing what actuali happen..and soon after that cums everyone.
but sumtink tat makes me change a lil bit of my mindset.ferstly i saw my mum tears wen she said this "doesnt mean we lose people in our life and doesnt mean we are not as happy and healthy as other people can be, we can never defeat." and tat totally make sense to me.however..the most tat makes me change a lil was wen she drop a tears.and i know.i have made a biger mistake in my life.tat was making my mum worried.coz making my parents worried was the last thin tat im gonna do.
fasting mth came.i was lost.handling o'levels and everythin at the same tyme.i cried almost every nite.and at a point of tyme i almost give up.i wanna give up on everything..every single thin.
but i tried to be strong.tried to face all this and knowing tat all thins tat happens has got more than 101 reasons that we might not even know it..
its true. god ans to my pray.the tyme wen fasting mths gonna end.one by one thins are goink back to normal.me and bestie settle thins out bet us.and it was actualy a misunderstanding and crazy act done by pathetic morons who just hate us.o levels was okey.
hari raya was great.met tina..yes. i miss her to bits.get to meet my darlink blogger mates too..
eza,titi,ira,kecik,maria,ikin,sha,fyza..gosh! so kecoh! i love them!! and i miss them so much now!
well this are my 2006 resolution:
- to forget the past
- to be a good daughter to my parents
- to make my parents happy
- to keep my friendship goin on stronger.
- to haf eyes of faith.
- to achieve my goals
- to make everyone ard me happy
- and last but not least,to be free from misery & pain.
*to bestie: after all those disagreement..misunderstand..fights and everiting.i hope our friendship will going on stronger.i can never find another one like you.tanks fer being there wen i nid ya.tanks fer all those great memories we shared.there were too many ups an down.but trust me..we will face everything together.*hugs*love ya sweets!
arghhh..okies2..its late already.i better go slip now.
wishing everyone a Happy New Year! 2006! here we come..wuhooo...well peeps.wateva happen in 2005 wll be memories.we just have to move on and start the ferst day of 2006 with a new chapter in our life.look forward to happy moments yar.muakss~