Monday, July 24, 2006
theres so many things going on in my mind. im so lost and confused. i just couldnt find the peace in myself. everything is so pressurizing. talked to my sister just now. theres so many things that i ought to realise that i should think through everything in my life again. you know,i dont want to make mistake in life. i know. everyone in this world is not perfect.but i just dont want to regret in future.
i dont know who would understand if i told them now.
who would understand if i told my reasons for going private diploma and not taking normal polytechnic when i can get in. when i've been dying to go poly since i was in primary school.who would understand why i choose mass comm and not others.who would understand why i am still single but not available now.who would understand the expectations and the hopes my parents put on me. who would understand my health. who would understand that everything in my life was actuali interconnected and theres same hidden reasons behind all this.
nobody knows except for god.
i dont want to burden my parents anymore. i want to give the best that i could. so they are happy even if i have to scarifice. so they dont have to worry about me. life is short. we dont know if we could fulfil all our hope and dreams.
my sister even told me that there're things that i have to scarifice and there's things that i have to let go. argh!! i just feel like crying now. i know its better to think through now rather than its too late by then. and i know. nobody can decide for me. its my life afterall so i've to decide myself. :(
Malam Bertandang
Hati Berbisik Mengenang
Cerita Derita Yang Daku Pendam
Kata Menguji
Cuba Untuk Kusudahi
Berulang Airmata Membasahi
Aku Kini Perlu Berdiri
Walau Hakikatnya
Pasti Kan Melukai
Aku Ingin
Semua Rasai
Kerna Pengakhirnya Hidup
Ku Sendiri
Oh Tuhan Kau Berikan Aku
Segala Kekuatan
Meneruskan
Perjalanan.
*//put yourself in my shoe.